Heh...

Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
(George Bernhard Shaw)

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
(Bertrand Russell)

Provocative...

It’s stretched my limits to the max
and they’ve snapped like a rubber band.
(MWD Lewis)

Was ever a truer statement made?

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
(Douglas Adams)

One can only Hope

Everybody has difficult years, but a lot of times the difficult years end up being the greatest years of your whole entire life, if you survive them.
(Brittany Murphy)

Fake Education?

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
(Winston Churchill)

Optimistic view of Pessimism

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
(George F. Will)

Memory Aids

I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.
(Beryl Pfizer)

Truth?

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

A gem from the news quiz

Is the collective term for a lot of political diaries called diarrhoea?
(Paraphrased from Jeremy Hardy)

Welcome

It is equally wrong to speed a guest who does not want to go, and to keep one back who is eager. You ought to make welcome the present guest, and send forth the one who wishes to go.
(Homer, The Odyssey).

So, if you're here of your own valition; welcome, if you'd rather be somewhere else; bugger off already.